So you want to become a gentle parent, but you’re struggling with the generational patterns of stress, anger and reactivity?? I got you, boo.
Do you find yourself getting stressed and reactive with your kids, and want to break free from these patterns? If so, read on to discover three powerful techniques for managing stress, building emotional intelligence, and becoming a calm, patient, and gentle parent.
As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed out, especially when things don’t go as planned. When we’re stressed, we’re more likely to react impulsively and lash out at our kids, even if we don’t mean to. In this post, we’ll explore three strategies you can use to break generational patterns of stress and reactivity, and become the parent you want to be.
Keep reading or watch this Reel to become a calm and gentle parent:
1. Manage Stress Proactively
Usually we think of stress management as a reactionary tool – I’m stressed so I need to take some deep breaths to calm back down.
One of the most effective ways to manage stress is to regulate it proactively, before it becomes overwhelming. This means checking in with yourself throughout the day, and taking steps to regulate your emotions before they spiral out of control.
For example, you might take a few deep breaths after every meeting, before starting the next task, when you go get a drink, while you go to the bathroom, or practice mindfulness while doing the dishes.
2. Check in with your nervous system regularly throughout the day
Checking-in with yourself means taking a moment to ask how you’re feeling emotionally and physically. This self-awareness can help you identify when you’re starting to feel stressed or anxious, and allow you to take steps to manage those emotions before they escalate.
Simple techniques for regulating your emotions, like deep breathing or meditation, can be done quickly and easily throughout the day to help you stay calm and centered.
Breathwork is a particularly powerful technique for managing stress because it helps regulate your nervous system’s response to stress. When you’re feeling stressed, your body’s fight-or-flight response kicks in, causing your heart rate to increase and your breathing to become shallow.
Deep breathing helps activate your body’s relaxation response, slowing your heart rate and calming your mind. By incorporating breathwork into your daily routine, you can reduce your overall stress levels and be better equipped to handle challenging situations when they arise.
3. Plan for Difficult Transition Times
Another way to become a more calm and gentle parent is to plan for difficult transition times in advance. For many families, the evening is a time when stress levels are high and everyone is tired and cranky.
To make evenings more calm and enjoyable, try implementing some of these strategies:
- Set aside time for family fun and connection: One way to ease the transition from work to family time is to make sure there’s a dedicated period for fun and relaxation. For example, parents could schedule 15-30 minutes of playtime with the kids as soon as they get home from work.
This could involve anything from a game of catch to a dance party in the living room. This way, parents can connect with their kids and release any built-up stress or tension from the workday.
- Plan meals or prep snacks ahead of time: Dinner time can often be a source of stress and chaos for families, but planning ahead can make a big difference. Parents can try meal planning and prepping on weekends, or even just taking a few minutes each morning to plan out what’s for dinner that night.
They could also involve the kids in meal prep to make it a fun and collaborative activity. Having a plan for dinner can help reduce stress and make the evening run more smoothly.
- Create a calming and predictable bedtime routine: Bedtime can be a particularly challenging transition time, especially if kids are wound up from the day. To make the evening and bedtime routine more peaceful, parents can try creating a calming bedtime routine that helps everyone wind down.
This could include activities like reading a story, taking a warm bath, or doing a few minutes of quiet meditation or deep breathing. By incorporating calming activities into the bedtime routine, parents can help their kids (and themselves) relax and transition into a restful night’s sleep.
Predictability is a grounding approach to making transitions easier.
Remember, every family is different, so it’s important to find what works best for your own family. These are just a few examples of ways to make evening time and transitions easier.
4. Reset and Heal at a Personal Development Retreat
Finally, if you’re feeling burnt out and overwhelmed, it may be time to take a personal development retreat. This is a time away where you can focus on yourself and your healing, without the distractions of daily life.
As I mentioned in the video, if you wait until you’re burnt out to take a vacation, it’s like slapping an expensive bandaid on a broken arm. A personal development retreat is the exception. This is a time where you can reset and heal so you can come back to your life feeling refreshed and renewed.
Healing retreats come in many forms – half day, weekend or a full week, from yoga and meditation retreats to writing workshops and wilderness adventures. These retreats offer a supportive and immersive environment for personal growth and can provide valuable tools for managing stress, improving relationships, and finding a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
I’m leading a Serenity Retreat this October in Maine. But if you can’t make it to this one, I encourage you to find a retreat near you.
The bottom line
In conclusion, becoming a calm and gentle parent is absolutely possible. By using a combination of proactive regulation, planning for difficult transition times, and taking time for personal development, you can break generational patterns of stress and reactivity, and become the parent you want to be.
Where to go from here:
- Work with me 1:1: For leaders and parents feeling lost trying to grow and heal on their own, ready for a guide on their journey out of anxiety into the happiest, most Zen-Badass version of yourself from the boardroom to the family room.
- 21 Day Meditation-in-Action emotional transformation (now only $37). In as few as 4 minutes a day, learn how to retrain your mind for resilience, peace and focus.
- Free Training – Learn the 4 Shifts to Ease Anxiety and Find Your Inner Zen-Badass: Access the free mini-but-mighty Graceful Resilience® training to learn the skills to become calm, confident and in control over your emotions so your career and relationships thrive.
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