The other day I posted a reel that went unexpectedly viral, sparking a huge debate.

I shared an encounter with an older gentleman in the library who came up to me to tell me that wearing a hat indoors is disrespectful.

[and I was wearing my fav cap to hide my frizzy, humid-day hair]

So I asked “what does respect mean to you?”

To which he replied “following the rules”.

I remarked that that sounded more like “obedience” than “respect”.

He added that respect means “if an older person tells you to do something, you do it”.

Again, I noted that that sounded more like “obedience” than “respect”.

The debate that blew up online was whether or not it is proper etiquette and therefore respectful to remove your hat indoors. To which there were MANY opinions.

However, that was not the point of the video.

The real point was to learn to examine our values and define what they mean to us and how we put them into action. That was what the conversation with the gentleman was about.

@happywoz

Respect or obedience? #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #momsover30 #momsover40

♬ original sound – Sandy Woznicki Stress Coach

To me, respect means to be civil, kind, and understanding of others – even if they are not behaving that way.

It was very interesting to see how disrespectful some people could be while telling me how disrespectful they thought I was being – all while not answering the question – “what does respect mean to you”?

This is the same values work I do with my clients. They are stressed and don’t like how they react to certain situations.

So after we work on emotional regulation, we dive into Soulful Alignment.

We find the values that make them who they are. Then we define what those values mean to them and how they put them into practice.

After that, we look at opportunities for more alignment with these values.

This creates a roadmap to live authentically in tune with the person they want to be in this life so they can feel good about how they show up in all areas and relationships.

PS. To be clear, the gentleman didn’t ask me to remove my hat and he was polite and we had a very kind and civil chat, both leaving with smiles.

And for a better understanding, where I live, people wear hats EVERYWHERE. Restaurants, stores, libraries, the mall – everywhere unless there is a rule against it like at the courthouse.

Where to go from here:

  1. Free Inner Voice Makeover workbook: Transform harsh self-talk into self-compassion with these 5 powerful steps to speak to yourself like someone you love. Discover the values hidden beneath your inner critic.

  2. 21 Day Meditation-in-Action: Retrain your brain in just 4 minutes daily. Create the mental space needed to connect with your authentic self and make values-aligned decisions.

  3. 1:1 Discovery Session: End the cycle of reactivity that leaves you feeling guilty, drained, and disconnected from your authentic self. In this focused 30-minute free consultation, we’ll identify your unique stress triggers and create a clear path to the calm response patterns you’ve been searching for. Transform stress into strength—starting now!