Do you have a hard time trying to stop thinking about work when you’re at home?

If you’re like most people, you think about work when you’re at home. Sometimes, it’s just a little thing like wondering what your coworkers are doing or thinking of something that happened at work that made you laugh.

But it can also be more intense and distracting, like worrying about how things will go tomorrow or obsessing over what went wrong on Friday afternoon. The problem with this is two-fold: first, it distracts from your time off and second, the thoughts aren’t always happy ones! 

Watch the video or read below.

@happywoz

Letting go of thoughts is a skill set anyone can build. We can’t control every thought that pops into our heads but we can learn to let go and redirect our thoughts somewhere that we choose. This becomes easier with practice and gives us control over our thoughts and emotions instead of them controlling us. Learn more by joining the 21 Day Meditation in Action challenge starting in February. (Link in IGbio)

♬ I Think I Like When It Rains – WILLIS

Rumination versus problem-solving

So first, let me tell you the difference between rumination and problem-solving.

Ruminating is when we keep cycling through the worst-case scenario or everything that we need to do. It’s a fear-based behavior that gives us the illusion of control, which is why we keep doing it.

We keep thinking and thinking, and if it’s top of mind, then it feels like we have some form of control and therefore are safe. Oftentimes, this is a learned behavior to be hyper-vigilant to feel safe and in control.

Problem-solving is what you want to shift into if you notice that you’ve been ruminating. Problem-solving involves having objectivity and curiosity to state the problem as a matter of fact.

If you find yourself ruminating, shift your focus to problem-solving by acknowledging the problem, thinking about possible solutions, and then redirecting your attention to the present moment.

How to stop thinking about work when at home

When you can’t stop thinking about work, here’s what I want you to do:

  • First, set a boundary around your time and decide when you want to be present and are not going to think about work. Keep it simple, maybe for the next hour.
  • Then, tell yourself that it’s safe for you to not think about work for the next hour.

When you inevitably start thinking about work, catch yourself. If you notice that you’ve been writing an email in your mind for the last 10 minutes, acknowledge it and forgive yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay and safe for you to not think about work at that moment.

Redirect your attention to a place of your choice. If you’re having trouble doing so, you can pick a sense, something you see, hear, smell, or feel that will ground you in the present moment. This will help you develop mindful self-awareness and intentional redirection of your thoughts, and give you more control over how you think.

Another tip to stay present is to imagine you came back from the future to experience this moment one more time. How differently would you show up to this moment?

Set boundaries around work when you’re at home.

  • Set a time limit for work-related tasks. If you can, set aside specific times during the day to do work. For example, if you have an hour or two before dinner, use that time to check emails and respond to any pressing messages. Then put away your laptop until after dinner is over (or at least until everyone has eaten). You’ll find that this helps keep your mind focused on family activities rather than on what’s happening back at the office (and helps prevent anyone else in your household from asking questions about why Mommy has been staring at her computer screen for hours on end).
  • Don’t check email or social media during family time.* When we’re with our families, we want them all focused on each other–not distracted by their phones! So when we’re spending quality time together as a family unit (e.g., having dinner), it’s important not only not to check our phones but also actively avoid looking at them altogether; otherwise there might be some awkward moments where someone asks whether something important came through while he wasn’t paying attention!

*Of course, this is all easier said than done, so be patient and kind with yourself as you work toward habit change.

Where to go from here:

  1. Work with me 1:1: For leaders and parents feeling lost trying to grow and heal on their own, ready for a guide on their journey out of anxiety into the happiest, most Zen-Badass version of yourself from the boardroom to the family room.
  2. 21 Day Meditation-in-Action emotional transformation (now only $37). In as few as 4 minutes a day, learn how to retrain your mind for resilience, peace and focus.
  3. Free Training – Learn the 4 Shifts to Ease Anxiety and Find Your Inner Zen-Badass: Access the free mini-but-mighty Graceful Resilience® training to learn the skills to become calm, confident and in control over your emotions so your career and relationships thrive.